Home > Managing Behaviour > Positive Parenting at Home

Positive Parenting at Home

By: Sarah Edwards - Updated: 2 Feb 2013 | comments*Discuss
 
Positive Parenting At Home

All children require positive influences in their lives, and positive parenting begins at home. Although sometimes you may feel that you have completely run out of patience, or are simply too tired to even begin to think about staying positive, it is really important to stay in control of your parenting skills.

Challenging Behaviour

Children like to throw us new challenges, and at every stage of development, and every age group you will find that your parenting skills will need to be updated, re considered and carefully fine tuned in order to remain a positive influence in your children’s lives.

Patience is a Virtue!

When your child’s behaviour is really proving to be difficult it is often very easy to snap, shout and lose your patience. It is perfectly normal to feel this way, and after all, we are only human (even if we ARE parents!). Giving your child boundaries is really important as this not only makes your life much easier, but it also means that your child will always know the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. Children without boundaries may appear to have loads of freedom, but this is not a good long term approach as they may well have under developed social skills and find certain situations very hard to deal with.

Praise for Positive Behaviour

Positive and good behaviour should always be rewarded, but negative or challenging behaviour should also be acknowledged and dealt with in a positive way-if possible. Tired parents who have been working all week and then have to deal with difficult and unreasonable and tiresome behaviour from their children can be forgiven for occasionally letting their guard down, however if you have made rules and boundaries it is far better to try and stick to them as the ultimate outcome will be far more positive.

Managing Behaviour

Children respond well to boundaries and will also respond well to reward schemes for displaying positive behaviour. Star charts and other devices that actually demonstrate your child’s achievements will always go down really well and lead to even more positive behaviour in the future. However, you do need to think carefully about your reward system and ensure that the behaviour your child is being rewarded for is relevant.

Reward Schemes

For example, if you have a child who wants to watch breakfast television but refuses to get dressed in the morning ready for school this can be incredibly stressful as we all know that early mornings and bedtimes are potentially the most difficult times. Therefore, explain to your child that if they get dressed before they come downstairs, they can watch 20 minutes of television before they go to school. This reward will be immediately relevant to your child as they immediately see a result for a very small change in behaviour.To create a positive situation at this crucial time of day is really important for the whole family, as it means that the day starts on a positive note for everyone.

The same system can be used at mealtimes and bedtimes and for the same reasons. These times of day are really critical in terms of timings and schedules and it’s great if everything can go smoothly. Eating food that they are not that keen on, and going to bed on time can bring rewards of their own, and these can be marked on a star chart or reward chart hung up on the kitchen door or elsewhere in the house.

A Positive Outcome

By collecting rewards, stars or points you can actively encourage your child to make changes to their behaviour that have a real impact on those around them. Keep track of all the good moments throughout the week and then treat them to something special, to say thank you.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Why not be the first to leave a comment for discussion, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopefully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • Buzz Flyright
    Re: Children and Body Rocking
    Very thankful to have found these comments. I am 76 and have until now thought my childhood rocking in rocking chairs and swings and…
    20 September 2019
  • gorgie
    Re: Children and Body Rocking
    the neighbor kids called me hammer head ,I did not mind .they were my friends ,against the couch , banging My head ...this started at…
    7 September 2019
  • buttocks
    Re: Smacking and Children
    since i remember mom spanked us i actually believe in hitting i myself hit my own children but not so bad like mom who whipped the daylight…
    1 September 2019
  • spanked and spanks o
    Re: Smacking and Children
    my mothers smacks r still felt today 12 years later igot from mom on daily basis from age 5 till 16 no less then 1000 slaps on each face…
    21 August 2019
  • Rose Valdez
    Re: Grounding Children
    Well right now I have been grounded for 7and a half months. I still have more time to serve though. I have to finish the 2019 year being…
    17 August 2019
  • Kate
    Re: Questionnaire: Does Your Child Have ADHD?
    I’m having isssues with my son who is 5 almost 6 he seems to switch off when your telling him off he’ll be good…
    4 August 2019
  • Mrstealyogirl
    Re: Grounding Children
    My friends bf has got grounded for like 2 months n tbh I reckon it’s not fair cos they not gonna learn so how can we get him ungrounded
    4 August 2019
  • Suz
    Re: Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
    My daughter has displayed ODD since very young. Here in Lancashire we cannot get a diagnosis. Camhs refuse to see her and…
    28 July 2019
  • Sugy
    Re: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
    My son is 3.5 years old and he seems to be hyper in all ways. He constantly disturbs everyone in home when they are working. Always…
    15 July 2019
  • Fjm
    Re: Smacking and Children
    I hate hitting my children as it makes me feel like I have lost control and could have handled it better. However once they have had a…
    14 July 2019