Home > Encouraging Good Behaviour > Child Suffered Because of Friendship Problems: A Case Study

Child Suffered Because of Friendship Problems: A Case Study

By: Sarah Edwards - Updated: 4 Oct 2010 | comments*Discuss
 
Child Suffered Because Of Friendship Problems: A Case Study

Friendships are a tricky area of parenting because even though we want our children to have a social group, we worry about whether their friends are really right for them. It is inevitable that at some point our children will experience problems with their friends of one sort or another, and it’s important to recognise that these problems will pass and your child will get over it eventually.

For one 10-year-old girl, what started out as a ‘best friendship’ ended in real misery, but with the help of her parents, her school and other friends Ella found a way through her problems.

Unsuitable Friendships

Ella’s mum, Anne said: “Ella was in year five at primary school when all this started and it really was a nightmare. She struck up a friendship with a girl called Lauren who I really didn’t like at all. She was well known as a bully and lots of children at the school were frightened of her. Ella seemed to be delighted to be part of Lauren’s ‘gang’ and couldn’t see that she was turning into the same sort of person.

Change in Behaviour

“Up to this point, Ella had always been quiet but well liked at school-by teachers and classmates. Once she became friends with Lauren, things started to change quite radically. After a while, Ella actually realised that she didn’t want to behave in the same way as Lauren and that’s when the problems really started. Lauren turned on Ella and made her life very difficult. They went from being best friends and virtually joined at the hip to being arch enemies and it was a very upsetting time.”

Health Issues

Anne added that as well as being miserable and unhappy, the problems with her friendship made Ella physically ill as well. Anne said: “Ella had tummy ache almost permanently for an entire two terms. I took her to the doctors who couldn’t find anything specific wrong her, but nevertheless every day before school Ella would feel sick and be doubled over in pain. I knew in my heart this was caused by anxiety because of the friendship issues she had at school.”

Talking Can Help

“Eventually Ella opened up about everything and we talked it through at school and at home but it took a long time to resolve the issues properly-it certainly rumbled on for at least another school term before it was finally laid to rest. We discovered that Lauren had lots of problems at home and wanted to be friends with Ella but was jealous of her. We talked a lot about the reasons we are friends with certain people and why we choose our friends and Ella finally understood that she didn’t HAVE to stay friends with Lauren and that it was her choice.”

Happy Endings...

It took a while for Anne and Ella to sort out the friendship problems, but eventually Lauren apologised to Ella and almost overnight Ella started to feel better. Anne added: “Finally Ella wanted to go to school again and her work started to improve. Less than half a term later she was back on track and had developed new friendships with a group of girls who she was really comfortable with. Lauren has now moved on and Ella sent her a good luck card. She obviously had problems of her own but I couldn’t stand how my daughter was dragged in to them and made really unwell by a so-called friend.”

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Why not be the first to leave a comment for discussion, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopefully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • Momofchild
    Re: Children and Body Rocking
    I’m looking for alternative methods to help my 15 yr old stop rocking. She has been doing since she was a baby. It is consuming her…
    16 June 2018
  • priscilla
    Re: Questionnaire: Does Your Child Have ADHD?
    I have a 7 year old who seems to have a hard time paying attention in school and home he seems to always be in…
    8 June 2018
  • Mommadanniibear
    Re: Questionnaire: Does Your Child Have ADHD?
    I’m so exhausted with my 5 year old son. No matter how much I punish him or how many times I tell him about…
    7 June 2018
  • Nate
    Re: Grounding Children
    I mean I do get grounded all the time but because of how much trouble me and my three sisters get into sometimes we deserve to be punished but…
    7 June 2018
  • Rae Rae
    Re: Children and Urinary Incontinence
    My three & half year daughter lies in her tummy on a chair & rocks wecadk hervdo you have a tummy ache she says no goes to…
    5 June 2018
  • KidsBehaviour
    Re: Grounding Children
    Nate - Your Question:You will not believe this I just got grounded tonight I felt so stupid my mom was taking a picture and I put bunny fingers…
    4 June 2018
  • Nate
    Re: Grounding Children
    you will not believe this I just got grounded tonight I felt so stupid my mom was taking a picture and I put bunny fingers up behind one of my…
    3 June 2018
  • Debbie
    Re: Children and Hitting
    I have an 9yr old grandson, and last 3yrs has refused to go to school, he goes for 1 hr a day, as school cant cope with his behaviour, he has…
    1 June 2018
  • Tgibbs
    Re: Questionnaire: Does Your Child Have ADHD?
    My son is 5yrs old. When i talk to him he acts like he doesnt hear me. He doesnt listen and he cant be still…
    31 May 2018
  • Maz
    Re: Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
    Hi I have a 12 year old boy who I feel like I am walking on egg shells with he can be fine one minute but the simplest of…
    29 May 2018