Smacking and Children
“Smacking” is a commonly accepted term for the (light) hitting of children in the name of discipline. Many parents smack their children with the belief that it will deter them from bad behaviour and that they themselves were smacked as children and are no worse for wear. Other parents view smacking as child abuse and refuse to engage in the practice. Today smacking remains a legal (in some cases) but highly controversial method of discipline.
Smacking and the Law in the United Kingdom
Prior to 1998, British parents were afforded the right to use “reasonable chastisement” to discipline their children but the subjective term “reasonable” was never well explained. In September of that year, the European Court of Human Rights decided that this law did not adequately protect children’s rights and so the Children’s Act of 2004 sought to clarify the laws surrounding smacking. Under Section 58 of the Act, smacking remains legal as long as it does not cause visible bruises, grazes, scratches, swelling or cuts. As of June 2007, these conditions provoked a Ministerial review of Section 58 of the Children’s Act with some Ministers again calling for an outright ban on smacking children. Scotland operates some smacking bans, and strict definitions of “reasonable” punishments. The Northern Ireland Commissioner for Children and Young People is seeking a full and outright ban on smacking children.Smacking as Discipline
Parents who smack children usually do so by swatting a child on the bottom, causing many to argue that smacking a child wearing a nappy does not harm a child’s body. These parents believe that they are conditioning children to associate negative behaviours with negative consequences. This may be true, but opponents of smacking argue that this does not teach children anything – the key difference between simply punishing children and disciplining children in an instructive manner. These parents often recommend discipline techniques that require thought and reflection on inappropriate behaviour instead of smacking. Some of these techniques include:- Time Out – removing a child from a situation instigating inappropriate behaviour for a set number of minutes. Often an explanation and/or apology are required before a Time Out can end.
- The Naughty Step – requiring a child to sit on a particular step (or rug, or mat, etc.) while they reflect on their inappropriate behaviour. Again, an explanation and/or apology are often required before the child is allowed off of the Naughty Step.
- Grounding – prohibiting a child from attending particular social events or from engaging in particular activities. This technique may also incorporate particular tasks or chores which must be carried out instead and are designed to teach children appropriate behaviour.
- Taking Away Privileges – prohibiting a child from taking advantage of certain privileges (usually those that they have earlier abused with inappropriate behaviour). Privileges are usually restored when a child can prove, through his/her behaviour, that (s)he understands and appreciates them.
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Comments...
I don't know what to do with my 9 year old daughter who has been repeatedly caught lying and stealing. Her dad simply takes away her toys for days or weeks, then she lies and steals again. I tried to smack her but he won't let me, stating that it is child abuse. I hope that someday society will not judge me a bad parent for condoning her lies and stealing. This was not how my brothers and I were raised. When my youngest brother was caught stealing car hood ornaments, my mother took him straight to the nearest police station and made the cops put him in a cell for a few hours. He never stole again after that episode. It is unfortunate that I can't do the same for my own child as my mother had done. My daughter has been lying and stealing from the age of 2, and will keep doing it for the rest of her life. I've tried everything that's legal, and nothing has worked. She has hardly any friends, who would want to play with her knowing that she might steal from them? It's not like she's wanting for anything.
HandsRTied - 13 November 2011 @ 11:51 AM
I agree with both of the sentiments offered by Kat and Andy.
I am attempting to raise five lively, spirited individuals to hopefully be empathetic, loving and law abiding adults without breaking their spirits in the process. I do smack my children when I feel the situation requires it, whilst also applying the other methods of naughty step, relevant consequences linked to the negative behaviour, confiscation, etc when these are more suited.
However, I also offer what I believe to be a balance of love and affection to my children. My aim is to show how society ostracizes and punishes individuals who do not act for the general good. It however encourages socially exceptable behaviour.
As adults, the majority of us know whether what we are asking or expecting of our children is obtainable. We also know whether we are being fair in our dealings with them. A good yard stick for me is to see if I can comfortably stand up in front of our own peers/parents and church to guiltlessly explain my parenting measures.
I also hope my children are proof that I am not unduly harsh. They are still lively, spirited individuals who offer me love back and from those who have dealings with themit is frequently said they are truely lovely, well behaved, loving and mannerly.
Mum - 18 July 2011 @ 9:34 PM
I think adults should NOT be able to hit their kids. I think slapping children should be legal in some cases but not if they get really hurt x
chazzer boi - 18 May 2011 @ 10:38 AM
I would like to know what on earth parents are supposed to do when all of the above methods of discipline have repeatedly failed, and when everything your child is doing is totally unacceptable or dangerous? For e.g. your 4 year old son keeps biting people so hard that he is actually causing damage! The older generation will advise that you bite them back, to teach them how awful it is, but this contravenes section 58 of the Children Act 2004. We have a generation of youth that respect no laws, let alone other people due to parental fear of having your child taken from you, and put into institutional care because you gave them a smack for going too far. It is very often a parents reflex and instinct to smack (not beat) a child that is behaving totally unacceptably and heeding no warning. Our instincts are very often right, that coupled with the construct of society and rules, is how we have done so well as a species. As adults we know that if you push someones boundaries too far and cause them to lose their temper without heeding any warning, there may well be physical consequences. Why should children also not learn about these boundaries? How are we doing our best to teach them about living in this world, if we send them out the door as young adults thinking that if they are abusive to other people they will have to sit on a step for 5 minutes? The naughty step works very well for mild to moderate bad behaviour (drawing on the walls, pulling hair, etc.) but does not demonstrate to a child the severity of a serious incident. You cannot physically hurt someone repeatedly, or conduct dangerous life threatening behaviour (like running off into the road) without expecting repercussions. Law makers need to seriously consider the long term consequences of children with no knowledge of fear, and crossing someone elses boundaries repeatedly. You only have to walk through your local town centre at 6 pm on a saturday evening to realise that some (some NOT all) teenagers have no respect at all and know very well that there is NOTHING that you, their parents, or even the police can do to them to curb their antics without resorting to incarceration! Is that how is to be? Smacking them contravenes their rights, but not adequately preparing them for respectable adult life and them ending up being incarcerated, and having their liberty taken away from them, resulting in no hope of a happy fulfilled life, is okay? How does that not contravene their rights?
Kat - 9 May 2011 @ 11:51 AM
This is not exactly a neutrally written article! Thankfully, the prediction that smacking "could become illegal in the near future" has not happened and the latest evidence shows that those who were smacked in youth do better at school and gain higher exam grades."Spare the rod and spoil the child"!
Andy in Hawick - 5 May 2011 @ 3:47 PM
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