Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
All kids go through difficult stages and could sometimes be described as "oppositional." There is an enormous difference between the normal defiance seen in two year olds (they don't call it the 'terrible twos' for nothing!) and the early teen years though and the chronic condition referred to as Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).
What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
Unlike behavioural issues in older kids and teens, ODD is typically seen in children younger than nine or ten years. A diagnosis of ODD requires that the child is defiant and disobedient, with a provocative quality to their behaviour. It is also important to note that in ODD, the severity of symptoms is not such as to include extremely dissocial or aggressive behaviour that is harmful or illegal. Tendencies toward cruelty or angry, violent aggression are not symptomatic of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and should be reported to the GP so that a correct diagnosis can be made and an appropriate treatment plan can be implemented.Symptoms of ODD
While parents shouldn't rush to the conclusion that their stubborn, sometimes defiant child has ODD, there are symptoms that may warrant a professional evaluation. Children with ODD are likely to act out in a number of situations, with school and home being the two places where behaviours are deemed most disruptive. Occasional emotional outbursts are considered a normal part of childhood, but if parents notice an ongoing pattern of the following behaviours, especially if the child's actions cause them difficulty in everyday functioning, a thorough evaluation is recommended:- Frequent and/or extreme temper tantrums
- Tendency to be easily annoyed by others
- Blatant refusal to comply with household or school rules
- Takes argumentative stance with adults
- Rude, uncooperative and confrontational attitude
- Use of mean-spirited language when upset
- Deliberate attempts to upset and annoy others
- Frequent bursts of anger or resentful attitude
- Tendency to place blame on others
- Outward and belligerent defiance
- Revengeful attitude
Causes of Oppositional Defiant Disorder
There is much speculation about the causes of ODD, with no definitive answers at this time. Many parents of kids with Oppositional Defiant Disorder do report that those children were rigid and demanding from an early age, compared to their siblings, raising the possibility that there may be biological or environmental factors involved. Some studies seem to indicate a tendency for ODD to run in families, strengthening the argument for a biological connection. While the causes are still a bit of a mystery, treatment options are well-established.Treatment Options
A number of treatment options have proven effective for the management of ODD. It is vital that parents are actively involved in their child's struggle to control inappropriate and troubling behaviours, so attending a parent training program can be quite helpful. Additionally, family psychotherapy may be beneficial in helping improve communication as the child attends individual therapy sessions to learn anger management techniques. Cognitive behavioural therapy and social skills training classes may be needed to help kids with ODD increase their problem solving skills while learning to interact more positively with peers and authority figures. All of this can be difficult on parents, who often feel helpless and discouraged. Actively taking measures to help their children cope and function can be empowering for parents, making life easier for the whole family:- Offer children praise and encouragement when they are cooperative.
- Parents should refrain from arguing with children and make it clear that they will not be engaged in confrontational displays.
- Establish reasonable and age-appropriate behavioural expectations and be consistent in following up with consequences for disobedience.
- Parents should learn and utilise stress management techniques. This will not only help them to cope with the pressures of raising a child with ODD, but will also provide good examples for their children.
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Comments...
My 6 year-old son reduced my husband to tears tonight. We are on tender hooks waiting for him to come in from school. We started the day off well, with him smacking me around the face. He seemed amused when l spoke about his unnacceptable behaviour. He has always been a 'hyper-sensitive child'. He is very jealous of his younger brother, aged 4, and provokes fights. Tonight as a punishment for swearing and bad behaviour l told him to go to bed, before his brother. I had to try and physically haul him up the stairs. It worries me that he is getting bigger and heavier. I already find him too heavy to carry if he asks to be picked-up. He's not obese - l have a small frame! Just being told to go to bed resulted in being spat at, more verbal abuse and plenty of screaming. You'd think he was being murdered. He approached me for a cuddle soon after and l recoiled. It is hard to trust him, as his behaviour has just kept deteriorating over time. He often raises his fists and says something along the lines of "Do you want some of this?". He is struggling at school - still waiting for a diagnosis for dyslexia.He dislikes school and most days does not want to go. He has not forged any real friendships and is completely behind his class - doing independant work. The school is doing their best to help. But he is well-behaved at school. A child therapist sent us a glowing report. That's quite disheartening. He 'changes' before he has even left the school grounds. He is easily distracted and it's like he has to have 100 % attention from us. He also scratches, punches and throws things. He can be such a sweet child, mainly when his brother is not around. I feel caught up in the middle - trying to avert conflict, whilst also feeling anxiety over my husbands reaction to the children's behaviour. He has PTSD and usually feels that the best cause of action is to retreat and remove himself from the situation. The youngest copies his brother's behaviour and can be very difficult too. I constantly feel invisible - the boys will totally ignore me, it is so frustrating. It's encouraging to read other parents' comments - and it was like a check-list, reading about the symptoms of ODD.
Squirrel - 31 January 2012 @ 10:27 PM
I have 6 children my second eldest having problems since the age of around 9 which now at 15 have escalated dramatically he is undergoing assessment for his behaviour problems all my kids have been brought up and treated the same way and putting aside their individual prsonalities the usual tantrums he is NOT like the rest of my children iv had to give up numourous jobs because ov his behaviour and hes currently in a pupil refural unit and even they wont allow him fir more than a couple ov hours a day,after years of just thinking he was a miss behaved child and being told that by teachers aswell im glad we are now finally getting the help he needs, because I myself have always thort misbehaved children were the result of bad parenting,how ignorant I feel now!!! but its better than feeling like a failure as a parent.
jo - 25 January 2012 @ 10:08 PM
Hi not all my comment below has appeared and its "chopped off the end" Summary - I think my 3 yr old is ODD how do I get this acknowledged, and what is the usual pattern of treatment.
Im so low with the thought this could become something way more serious the older he gets, Need to sort it now and Ive tried all the usual stuff as I put, we have list of rules on the wall, Ive gone right back to visual reminders like I did my eldest.Hes been so very difficult this week, Im tired of being spat at, swore at, punched kicked and basically how I feel now isnt too different to how I felt 8 yrs ago with my eldest. Where can I get some good resource material from tooo, any recommended reading????? Nice to see all the usual "doubters" in ASD conditions still exist, the biggest trouble my eldest child has these days in not his ASD but the ignorance of others. shout out to all the other parents out there struggling united we stand, whether your child has ODD, ADHD or any other aspect of Autistic Spectrum Disorders keep talking to each other supporting each other. Your NOT alone!
Jax - 13 January 2012 @ 2:26 AM
Hey all, Im in a situation of deja vous. Well sort of. Im a UK 43yr old mother, My Eldest is 14 and has ADHD, Autistic tendancies, OCD, Dyslexia and DAMP, a 8 yr old DIVA of a daughter and our 3 yr old son. I am blessed Ive been through the whole process, fears and doubts we have all endured with these beautiful children. I haven been driven to the point of questioning my sanity, my worth as a mother and wishing someone would understand.
My Eldest is currently on Equasysm XL (weve done Concerta, Ritalin etc) and this works really well for us, we combine with the ritalin on the days he is under pressure. ie. school or trips out where there will be alot of people, or perhaps a long journey or new environment. At home with no plans and just family I tend not to medicate. (we didnt start meds till he was 7, I coped with how my son is on my own as a single parent from birth, it wasnt until he started Nursery/playgroup and then school and he didnt meet other peoples expectations of "normal" the pressures began and the long route to realisation of his complex needs. We had a terrible time with mainstream education, more and more it was apparent socially he just couldnt cope. He was depressed, threatened suicide, self harm, harm to others, so much anger and frustration. when he was diagnosed we were supported by a paeds consultant, the ADHD nurses. I took advantage and attended seminars to do with ADHD, study childrens behaviour management I figured the more I learnt about ASD the more i would understand my son and those that at sch would be responsible for caring for him. In the meantime I married and had a daughter. Unfortunately it was an abusive relationship and I divorced my husband after Domestic violence. He never tolerated my son and said he was just a "brat" Over time I became involved with my partner and father of our 3 yr old. Whilst managing to get the eldest into a Special Needs school. that school is our godsend they are like an extended part of our family and he is finally flourishing, I finally can see light and a positive future for him.
Over the last 18 months however we have or should I say I have been struggling emotionally and physically with our youngest, He bites, scratches, spits, swears, is destructive, maliscous, spiteful. Has no fear. He is interested in fire, knives. Is physically cruel to his siblings & our pets. Attacks all of us. We have stopped decorating as he rips off wallpaper, pulls down blinds and he has now smashed the 3rd plasma TV!!!!!! Wont keep his car seat belt on, we call him houdini as he can escape most things.He climbed the dividing fence, (6ft) got next to the neighbours pond, stripped and started to climb into the pond. He physically attacks his sister, has pulled her hair out, bitten and scratched her. (our eldest isolates himself from him, weve been advised not to leave them alone in a room together incase the eldest retaliates) Sooooo, we ignore the little stuff, praise the good. Put him in time o
Jax - 13 January 2012 @ 2:13 AM
hi, we have a 15 yr old with odd, we sent him to boarding school when he was 13 as he was so difficult to live with.His school have now told us that we are wasting our money as he isn't working and won't get the grades he should.We need to change his school for his sake but we cannot find a school that caters for his condition.His current school think he would be better with a one on one tutorial school but we feel he needs the social interaction.Can anybody recommend a school that caters for boys with odd with great pastoral care>
nash - 17 November 2011 @ 11:18 AM
my oldest son is 8 he was diagnosed with adhd and tourettes almost two years ago. we tried the usual medication but he tried to kill himself within two days of starting the tablets. he now takes respiridone and although it reduces the ticks he is still as aggressive etc etc as without it. i have tried to get help from all the usual places but to no avail. the most i've achieved is two hours a day one to one help in school. he has recently become sexually aware and is obsessed with my relationships with anyone other than himself or my other son. i am convinced the world doesn't want to know about these kids let alone help them in any significant way - what is scary is that these kids are the worlds future!
cockles - 12 November 2011 @ 7:56 PM
My son is now 11 but has been difficult right from the age of 3 or so - sometimes I feel he just did not outgrow the terrible twos. Being an only child in a family where cousins also have largely single children it is difficult to associate or compare with siblings - but even then I think it is a case of basically difficult behavior. He has problems right from the morning - wont get up on time, wont brush his teeth, sometimes doesnt soap himself while bathing, throws tantrus to have meals, never appears for meals on time (always walks in15 minutes after the meal has started and then expects everyone to wait while he finishes). The only saving grace is his behavior at school and with friends/peers. He is well behaved and is generally not aggressive. Nothing seems to work with him when he is in one of his moods. As always, he is apologetic and is unsure how to change. He is a lovely boy at heart and very loving - except when he is in one of his moods.
a half crazed parent - 17 October 2011 @ 8:50 AM
my son has had severe behaviour problems since he was three he is now 12 every day is a struggle it is tearing my family apart.He hasnt been diagnosed with anything but he has the violence aggression impulsivness he has attitude rudeness he hates authority he smokes he runs away he gets in trouble with the police he beats his sisters up i could go on.I am really struggling with him its making our lives hell we havent got a normallife.We have numerous professionals involved but nothing makes a difference.Ive done all the courses read all the books you name it any suggestions?
luckyloulou - 11 October 2011 @ 10:52 PM
sorry my son s 9 nearly 10 in his anger moments h kicks ans punches the walls and destroys his bedroom want to help my boy any way i can as he can be so lovely and he has recently said he doesent like being like this but h dont know y either
kaz - 10 October 2011 @ 11:14 AM
hi myoldest child of 5 and my only son is causing alot of concrn in our family he is very defiant and as very angry episodes to the point he looks at me with evil eyes and his fists clenched he knows what he is doing and he knows he is doing wrong but also he is truely sorry after vry confused as have tried all parenting teqniques and nothing works he can be a lovely boy one minuite then switch even one off his younger sisters annoying him he gets vry angry to were e has hurt them,His behaviour at school is getting worse to ,run out of ideas to help my son.is been building up last few years but hes getting worse and none of my 4 girls behavethis way as such but they try copying and thats not good could someone give me an idea if i should get him diagnosed for behaviour dissorder or is it just his age thanks
kaz - 10 October 2011 @ 11:06 AM
i have a son who has odd and i need more help with him
moo - 3 October 2011 @ 6:38 PM
I am sitting here on a beautiful sunny saturday afternoon and I feel like cutting my wrists!Not that I would ever dream of doing such a thing but after yet another "episode"with my 9 year old daughter just trying to get her homeowrk done so that we can all go out for the afternoon I feel distraught and emotionally drained.Every single day from the minute she gets up in the morning I am waiting for an explosion. Something will displease her, or irritate her or won't go EXACTLY as she wants it and she will kick off ranting and raving and throwing herself and anything that gets in her way around the room.When I "count her out" it doesn't work. Her sister would stop whatever she was doing by the time I had counted upto 2 but she not only lets me count to 3 but she counts on to 4,5 6 just do be provocative and dismissive of my attempt to contain her behaviour. I have tried all the usual things to sanction her bad behaviour and reward her good (which is what she is probably 70% of the time) but when she is in what we call her zone little works (except ocassionally the threat ofa smacked bottom and even very rarely an actual smack on the bottom) but I am just worn out by it. I have a fairly high powered job and am a single mother but I spend all of my weekends and most evenings with my children and work when they are in bed and i am physically and emotionally on the verge of collapse with the strain of all this arguing.To be fair when she is alone with me she is a wonderful bright, loving and engaging little girl who is happy and sunny and very well behaved. At school she is well behaved with teachers but is easily distracted and is distracting and can sometimes beaggressive with her peers. She is however quite law abiding at school and she is definitely worse with me than when she is with other people . I just feel that there is more to this than just a naughty attention seeking little girl. There is an anger and an irritability in her sometimes that just seems to come from nowhere and has no particular trigger - a simple every day request to do something or just an enquiry about what she want to eat can set off a tantrum. Afterwards she is always really contrite and apologetic but she can never explain why she did it - except that sometimes she needs to" let out a little bit of badness". I have been to see our GP but of course she was an angel and was able to agree that her behaviour was unnacceptable and that she shouldn't do it and that she understood the consequences of her actions on her and the rest of the family.I do think maybe that it is me who needs help and not her sometimes but it is just so hard to live with and I feel like I have done all the usual things like praising good behaviour and withdrawing priveledges for bad and doing that pretty consistently. She doesn't seem to mind the punishments or be too bothered with loss of receipt of rewards. I am very concerned about her but I also am struggling to keep going -
sjames - 24 September 2011 @ 2:39 PM
I have a 15 year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 7 years old.He has been medicated since and despite our immense efforts in trying to support him I feel it has had little effect on him.His behaviour is now deteriorating and he recently commited an act of vandalism whilst at school.He doesn't go out in the community or have any friends apart from other children he sees at school.He is verbally and physically abusive as well as destructive and as a family we struggle to have a relationship with him that isn't on his own terms.We recently took everything out of his room and this would usually motivate him to behave better.We're not seeing any of that just now.It's stressful and has such an impact on everyone.He doesn't seem to recognise how his behaviour affects other people or his relationship with anyone who loves and cares about him.I dread to think about what will happen to him when he gets older or what his life will be like.Any advice would be greatly appreciated.We do positive reinforcement, however, just now that does not appear to mean anything to him.
Nessie - 11 September 2011 @ 9:20 PM
My daughter now 10 has been increasingly diffficult over the last 2 or 3 years but more recently the effect of her daily disruptive behaviour is causing me a vast amount of stress and isso bad I have considered leaving my family. She displays all the syptoms of ODD and forever argues with me, my husband, and her sister. My days are constantly filled with thinking up ways of seperating the family for the sake of peace. Obviously I would prefer to have a normal family day out together but it so often ends in disaster that I end up giving up and staying home, this in itself causes a problem as if boredom kicks in the whole thing is worse, I have very few family I can rely on and don't know where to go next for help. She also is a very poor sleeper which I'm sure can't help but accentuate her own feelings of frustration and anger. I feel like all rules are relaxed around her to make life easier and this is surely unfair on everyone else? Desperate for advice. thanks
jax - 23 August 2011 @ 7:53 PM
Tracey maybe if your husband didnt have sociopathic tendencies maybe your children wouldnt have issues. Genetics play a large part in offspring. Oh and by the way maybe you both need a job and having half a dozen kids is not a job especially as you both live off the state. Your husband and his father and grandfather had weird personalities and threated and hit.
BP - 23 July 2011 @ 12:05 AM
Hi, our 7 year old daughter is showing all the signs of ODD, but can lash out & hurt people too, she also screams things like "I hate you" or she'll threaten to leave, then 2 minutes later she will be fine & act like nothing happened, I'm currently expecting my 6th child (5th daughter) & she has made threats to hurt her when she arrives, I was wondering how long it will take to get a diagnosis if she does have ODD, I'm just feeling powerless at the moment as her dad has to deal with her temper tantrums due to it being too dangerous for myself. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you
Tracey Hawley-Kirkby - 25 May 2011 @ 4:52 PM
My son is 6 years old, and every day is like a battle with him. He argues with me, screams, throw things, he lashes out at other children in school and argues with teachers. Even the smallest things result in a huge outburst, he is always sorry afterwards and cannot make sense of what happened. Both myself and my older son feel physically and emotionally drained. Is it worth me speaking with my GP, I'm worried that I won't be taken seriously!!! Help!
LoL - 24 May 2011 @ 2:04 PM
I had never heard of ODD. my son is 10 and has ASD. I have struggled for years trying to get people to listen to me about my son's behaviour and was always told it was my bad parenting. I worry about what the future holds for him. He is already at a special school - now are having problems coping with him and as he gets older I worry about my safety as he has already given me black eyes and a broken arm. It is very lonely coping with this and finding I'm not alone reading the other comments gives me some strengh.
aidan - 14 May 2011 @ 3:03 PM
Oh, by the way, it was all over having to wash his hands.
zozobythesea - 13 May 2011 @ 5:39 PM
Well Tommy, come round to my house and watch my 7 year old son completely upheave his bedroom, mattress and all, tell me he hates me and wishes I would be strangled. Throw marbles at me after throwing them across his room, tell me he wishes he was dead, scream louder than I can, all for about three hours, then you can then tell me it's normal. I know normal, I have a degree in Early Childhood and over 10 years experience in childcare, this is not normal. I told my best friend the same thing 2 years ago, then I showed her a taped rage from my son, and she was convinced he was possessed, now she gets it. Do not judge intelligent, experienced families, who KNOW their child's behaviour is more than simple tantrums.
Zozobythesea - 13 May 2011 @ 5:37 PM
For 8 out of the 9 years since my son was born, every year has gone past and issues of aggression, violence, defiance etc have only got worse on a daily existence. It has affected his siblings and myself to the level that we feel as though we are walking on egg shells just waiting for the ticking time bomb to go off. Any parent who believes that any child with such severe ongoing issues is just merely a "naughty child" and another condition made up by medical praticioners are only being blinded by their own beliefs, instead of being open to the fact that there are real children with real issues. You look into the eyes of my son who on rare occasions has stated "I don't know why I am like this and I don't want to be like this" and tell him you think he is just a misbehaved child! No parent ever wants to have their child struggle, or have to feel the way these children do. I'm glad I found this page as it has given me reinforcement that there are many children and families dealing with exactly the same issues.
JMH02 - 29 April 2011 @ 8:11 AM
I had never heard of ODD until my daughter was diagnosed with ADD and I was given a booklet with other disorders listed. When I read about the ODD I straight away said that is my son. I come from a big family and have 3 kids, my son in the middle of 2 girls. I have learnt to 'ask' things of him in a round about way or he simple won't do anything. He is 6 and half the time he is what I think to be a normal boy/brother, the rest of the time its like he is intentional rocking the boat and when reprimanded he will get aggressive, he has broken things. Often kids with ADD or ADHD also have ODD. I have not had him assessed as yet but glad to know he just isnt EXTREMELY STUBBORN OR SPITEFUL on purpose. I am constantly trying different reinforcers for good behavour as well but nothing lasts long. I work with autistic children, doing ABA therapy so know all about positive and negative punishments and reinforcers but its very hard when your own child gets so under your skin on purpose like that. I love him to pieces and we have a good bond but he drives his sisters round the bend and refuses to listen to others even when they showing him or trying to help him, he gets upset and vengeful.
AngelblueZN - 14 April 2011 @ 2:39 PM
I'm sorry but people who state this rubbish have no clue. I have two children one with ODD and believe me it's not the same as any kid and it's do gooders who don't have kids like it who come out with stupid comments like it's a load of rubbish get a life - people don't understand.
Mell - 13 April 2011 @ 8:23 PM
Trying to raise an impulsive,defiant child {with issues} is very stressful, challenging ,exhausting,and frustrating.We feel helpless very discouraged.Daily behavior issues at home,school,public,with friends are very draining for parents to cope.Playing "deaf, dumb, blind, walking away is met with a slap,push or kick behind us.Physical damage to home has been an issue too...Information was encouraging-----and acceptable.....Never judge until you have walked a mile in someone else s shoes
ALONE - 13 April 2011 @ 8:10 PM
Why am I thinking that this is a trumped up load of nonsense devised by practitioners for practitioners.The check list would cover most children I have ever know and is normal behaviour.I wonder how many people involved in inventing ODD have ever brought up children.
Tommy Fowler - 3 April 2011 @ 6:01 PM
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