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Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

By: Elizabeth Grace - Updated: 18 Oct 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Oppositional Defiant Disorder Odd Add

All kids go through difficult stages and could sometimes be described as "oppositional." There is an enormous difference between the normal defiance seen in two year olds (they don't call it the 'terrible twos' for nothing!) and the early teen years though and the chronic condition referred to as Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).

What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
Unlike behavioural issues in older kids and teens, ODD is typically seen in children younger than nine or ten years. A diagnosis of ODD requires that the child is defiant and disobedient, with a provocative quality to their behaviour. Tendencies toward cruelty or angry, violent aggression are not symptomatic of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and should be reported to the GP so that a correct diagnosis can be made and an appropriate treatment plan can be implemented.

Be aware that sometimes ODD can be confused with CD, or Conduct Disorder, which is actually a more severe version of ODD. The definition of CD is a serious childhood psychiatric disorder in which either major society rules, or the rights of others, are violated by the child at least three times in the last year, including at least once in the last six months. This includes physically abusing people or animals, arson, stealing and other digressions.

Symptoms of ODD
While parents shouldn't rush to the conclusion that their stubborn, sometimes defiant child has ODD, there are symptoms that may warrant a professional evaluation. Children with ODD are likely to act out in a number of situations, with school and home being the two places where behaviours are deemed most disruptive. Occasional emotional outbursts are considered a normal part of childhood, but if parents notice an ongoing pattern of the following behaviours, especially if the child's actions cause them difficulty in everyday functioning, a thorough evaluation is recommended:
  • Frequent and/or extreme temper tantrums
  • Tendency to be easily annoyed by others
  • Blatant refusal to comply with household or school rules
  • Takes argumentative stance with adults
  • Rude, uncooperative and confrontational attitude
  • Use of mean-spirited language when upset
  • Deliberate attempts to upset and annoy others
  • Frequent bursts of anger or resentful attitude
  • Tendency to place blame on others
  • Outward and belligerent defiance
  • Revengeful attitude
A professional evaluation can be of great assistance since it can be very difficult for parents to ascertain the root causes of their children's troubling behaviours. Additionally, children with other conditions, such as Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), anxiety issues, mood disorders (including depression or bipolar disorder), or learning disabilities may exhibit similar symptoms, making diagnosis by an untrained parent especially difficult.

Causes of Oppositional Defiant Disorder
There is much speculation about the causes of ODD, with no definitive answers at this time. Many parents of kids with Oppositional Defiant Disorder do report that those children were rigid and demanding from an early age, compared to their siblings, raising the possibility that there may be biological or environmental factors involved. Some studies seem to indicate a tendency for ODD to run in families, strengthening the argument for a biological connection. Some experts believe that the condition is more common in children whose parents are hostile a lot of the time, or who tend to argue a lot.

It is estimated that at least five per cent of the population suffer from ODD, but the way it manifests itself can range greatly. Some children with the disorder tend to argue and talk back a lot, while others are overly hostile virtually all of the time. What holds true for most of the children, however, is that authority figures bear the brunt of the hostility - be they parents, teachers or others. As a result, they find school a difficult time, despite their intelligence, and often have a hard time making and keeping friends.

Experts believe that ODD is more common in a child who has been already been diagnosed with ADHD, although an exact link has not been established. In fact, as many as half the number of children with ADHD may also have ODD. Others believe that some sleep disorders may be mistaken for ODD. While the exact causes are still a bit of a mystery, treatment options are well-established.

Treatment Options
A number of treatment options have proved effective for the management of ODD. It is vital that parents are actively involved in their child's struggle to control inappropriate and troubling behaviour, so attending a parent training program can be quite helpful. Additionally, family psychotherapy may be beneficial in helping improve communication as the child attends individual therapy sessions to learn anger management techniques. Cognitive behavioural therapy and social skills training classes may be needed to help kids with ODD increase their problem solving skills while learning to interact more positively with peers and authority figures.

All of this can be difficult on parents, who often feel helpless and discouraged. Actively taking measures to help their children cope and function can be empowering for parents, making life easier for the whole family:

  • Offer children praise and encouragement when they are cooperative.
  • Refrain from arguing with children and make it clear that they will not engage in confrontational displays.
  • Establish reasonable and age-appropriate behavioural expectations and be consistent in following up with consequences for disobedience.
  • Learn and utilise stress management techniques. This will not only help them to cope with the pressures of raising a child with ODD, but will also provide good examples for their children.

Some parents of children with ODD offer other advice as well, which will not "cure" the condition but will help alleviate some of the symptoms. Limit the amount of television and computer time your child has, find out what interests they have and encourage them to develop them as much as possible, and enlist the help of others when you can.

Doing the Best for Your Child

Most parents of children with ODD know from a very early age that their child is different from others - in some cases, different from their other siblings. But having a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder need not be too disheartening, as there is help around. Several support groups now exist for parents of children with this disorder, as well as parents of kids with ADHD. Some parents find it easier for their children to find other children with ODD to play with; they seem to be on the same "wavelength" and get along well, with less squabbling and bickering.

What is vital is that parents get the support and encouragement they need, so that they can continue supporting and encouraging their own children. Once you can get the right diagnosis for your child you can take the right steps to learn more about ODD, and help your child live life to the full.

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Hi, I have an 11 year old boy since the age of 3 he's shown signs of aggreessive angry unruley behaviour for years I have tried to get help going to meetings at school to being sent to camhs he's even seen and art theropist yet all I keep getting told his it's emotional issues! He lashes out and on a number of occasions has punched me in the face he's once trashed my bedroom in his anger! He's evil to his neice and nephews whenever he goes out playing he's constantly fighting with other boys when I ask him to do something he'll scream so aggressively at me that it's like a full grown man wanting to fight! His attitude towards me and other is beyond disgusting and I'm ashamed when he's like this as my mum brought me up with mannners and Iv tried my hardest to reflect that into him he constantly calls me names! Iv tried every punishement that I can and been told to do by family workers and school. He refuses to get in the shower he won't brush his teeth and he's constantly late for school because he dordles and when I'm keep asking him to get dressed he screams and shouts at me swearing he's cheeky when asked something and for example if he loses a toy he will go crazy and then the aggressions starts this never stops and it's constant from getting up in a morning to going to bed I'm a single mum as his dad left him when he was younger and as had no contact since then! It's causing issues in my current relationship and my parents. I suffer with anxiety and was told that all the stress from this will be my main cause I can't sleep on a night because I'm dreading the next day I go to work and can't concentrate as he's getting older the worse he has got Iv fought and fought with dr etc just for help and each time the out comes emotional issues but then no further help at all Iv even gone to my local MP for help and still nothing. I'm just so lost as to what to do next.
Sherrie88 - 18-Oct-17 @ 7:45 PM
Sue - Your Question:
My daughter is 9 years old and has been given a diagnosis of ODD possible CD and subline Adhd. However when in School she does her best too stay calm, most of her outbursts are at home.However, she does refuse to go School sometimes her School is aware of her condition but are now threatening me with court action. I am a Teacher the School does not care that court could cause problems with my future. More importantly they seem to be not taking her diagnosis into account what can I do. I am at a loss and my health has dteriated. The School is more interested in ticking boxes and having perfect attendance records than what's going on. I can't cope what can be done.

Our Response:
Can you talk to someone at your education welfare service? They might be able to make suggestions for getting her to school. Assuming you're working, we're guessing you have to miss school too when you daughter refuses to go, which must be affecting your own job and pupils.
KidsBehaviour - 18-Oct-17 @ 3:01 PM
Mimmie - Your Question:
I have a just turned 9yr old daughter youngest of 3 children. From very young ( under a yr old) she hated being kissed and would shrug physical touch off. As she got older she woukd hide when famiky arrived and left to avoid the hug and kisses part, she would sit on my lap but I wasnt aloud to put my hand on a knee or around her, unless she pulled my hand around herself! From age 3 or before she was defient stubborn and did the opposite to everything asked, if she knew she was winding someone up she would do it more. I have been the best I can dealing with her. 2 yrs ago she developed tic disorder, and im starting to see abusive behaviour in her. She physically and verbally hurts kids at school, we went to a party and she started on a girl. I had to get on the bouncy castle and calm her down and she was shouting you dont know what its like to be me! Im a bully and I cant help it. I talk to her alot ( bit believer in communication) she can be in tears about it because she really struggles to let things go. At school she talks back to teachers and doesnt do as shes told and she has to be prized off of me every morning going in. At home she can be so mean to me I go and cry. It also affects her siblings. She struggles with empathy and acts like she doesnt care about anything. But under it she has a huge heart and I know she cares so much. Now she is older she will hug me alot and tells me she loves me. But still not anyone else in our family, my mum always says can I have a hug, I wont kiss you and sometimes she will. I dont know what she has but being 9 and it escalating socially at school I need to find out. Ive been to drs lots of times but they never refer her. What do I do and any idea what is wrong with her. Thanks

Our Response:
Why will the doctors not refer her? She clearly has some problems that are distressing her? Has she ever been diagnosed with autism etc? Try contacting the Family Lives Helpline or find out whether you have a local parent partnership service to see whether they can offer any alternative support routes.
KidsBehaviour - 17-Oct-17 @ 10:04 AM
Sorry I forgot to say that she doesn't always have a problem and can be helpful. The thing is she brings it all home and I get double the grief. She hits me, calls me names it's really awful. I am I tears all the time. I don't have any help.
Sue - 17-Oct-17 @ 4:57 AM
My daughter is 9 years old and has been given a diagnosis of ODD possible CD and subline Adhd. However when in School she does her best too stay calm, most of her outbursts are at home. However, she does refuse to go School sometimes her School is aware of her condition but are now threatening me with court action. I am a Teacher the School does not care that court could cause problems with my future. More importantly they seem to be not taking her diagnosis into account what can i do. I am at a loss and my health has dteriated. The School is more interested in ticking boxes and having perfect attendance records than what's going on. I can't cope what can be done.
Sue - 17-Oct-17 @ 4:48 AM
I have a just turned 9yr old daughter youngest of 3 children. From very young ( under a yr old) she hated being kissed and would shrug physical touch off. As she got older she woukd hide when famiky arrived and left to avoid the hug and kisses part, she would sit on my lap but i wasnt aloud to put my hand on a knee or around her, unless she pulled my hand around herself! From age 3 or before she was defient stubborn and did the opposite to everything asked, if she knew she was winding someone up she would do it more. I have been the best i can dealing with her. 2 yrs ago she developed tic disorder, and im starting to see abusive behaviour in her. She physically and verbally hurts kids at school, we went to a party and she started on a girl. I had to get on the bouncy castle and calm her down and she was shouting you dont know what its like to be me! Im a bully and i cant help it. I talk to her alot ( bit believer in communication) she can be in tears about it because she really struggles to let things go. At school she talks back to teachers and doesnt do as shes told and she has to be prized off of me every morning going in. At home she can be so mean to me i go and cry. It also affects her siblings. She struggles with empathy and acts like she doesnt care about anything. But under it she has a huge heart andi know she cares so much. Now she is older she will hug me alot and tells me she loves me. But still not anyone else in our family, my mum always says can i have a hug, i wont kiss you and sometimes she will. I dont know what she has but being 9 and it escalating socially at school i need to find out. Ive been to drs lots of times but they never refer her. What do i do and any idea what is wrong with her. Thanks
Mimmie - 16-Oct-17 @ 12:40 AM
Looking for advise, I am at my wits end and I really don't know what to do anymore. I have a 9 year old daughter who is badly behaved, I believe she has ODD however I have been told time and again it's just a behavioural issue. She has me in tears to the point where I just wish I could run away forever. Her constant angry outbursts, yelling at me attacking things when it doesn't go her way. I try to punish het by grounding her but I then have to let her out as I can't get a minute for her constantly giving me grief and screaming at me. This is causing me severe depression and I really don't know what to do
Steph - 1-Oct-17 @ 2:16 AM
Hi I'm having terrible issues with my 5year oldboy.he is a fussy eaterrefusing to eat or try anything new esp fruit or veges.he is playing up at school disruptingclass not listening to teacher,fighting,not wanting to join in,anger issues,showing off,acting silly to get attention trying to be centre I attention,always wanting attention..i don't no wat to do it is becoming embarrassing because he is being delt with by deputy principal,etc classed as a naughty boy please help as I am due to have a new baby in two weeks and feel he is only gonna get worse.
needhelp - 5-Sep-17 @ 11:39 AM
sorry forgot to say he is a very angry child sometimes and aques with adults and just hits out at other children
bez - 30-Aug-17 @ 2:03 AM
9 year old grandson is evil to wareds animals he throw the kitten down stairs has thretened to stab a chilld on are streeet told other kids he is going kill there perants pored after shave over beds mixed bubblebath with other things set a fire in my bathroom i took him to gp and was told he is just a naughty 9 year old were can i get help
bez - 30-Aug-17 @ 1:59 AM
My daughter is 10 and a half.Her anger is becoming worse and her weight is piling on.As parents we have chatted to her and advised our concerns of how much she is eating at the moment (some of which she secretly eats) and how her moods seemed to be linked to eating.My motherinlaw lives in an adjoining granny flat and therefore she sneeks in there too to ensure she has food.Aware that she is now a big girl for her age..nearly as tall as me and a larger girl then me she is becoming unmanageable when asking her to shower and her personal hygiene is suffering also.Every day when asked to go for a shower it turns into a rage, things are thrown down, doors are slammed and her grandmother is becoming wary of her grand daughter.Any suggestions for a way forward .
Wanda - 29-Aug-17 @ 1:08 PM
My 9 yr old granddaughter is in need of help desperately.She is hurting herself by throwing herself against walls, scratchingand punches herself.She is not using the bathroom she instead uses her room for releaving herself,she won't shower brush her teeth or hair. Lately she has been stealing and lying. She has been caught punching my two dogs and her brother. Now she gets up in the middle of the night wanders around the house getting into sll kinds of stuff.she wss such a sweet little girl I'm so worried about her. I know my son's girlfriend has tried to get her help but we don't know where to go, hospitals won't help ,doctor won't help how do we get help?
Reba - 25-Aug-17 @ 11:03 AM
Martin - Your Question:
Our son is nearly 7 he is a twin. He is fantastic at school very clever but he has a quick temper at home he punches kicks and bites his brother and older sister he breaks and smashes things he screams when he thinks his brother will hurt him. He swears and tantrums sometimes for a hours. What can we do? He head banged as a baby.

Our Response:
Ask your GP for a help; if there's a problem that can be treated, they will be able to recognise it and recommend help.
KidsBehaviour - 2-Aug-17 @ 9:33 AM
Our son is nearly 7 he is a twin. He is fantastic at school very clever but he has a quick temper at home he punches kicks and bites his brother and older sister he breaks and smashes things he screams when he thinks his brother will hurt him. He swears and tantrums sometimes for a hours.What can we do? He head banged as a baby.
Martin - 29-Jul-17 @ 2:27 PM
I am at my wit's end with my 10 yr old it seems he enjoys upsetting us at home with no respect at all yet at school he's perfect it's like g he has to be in control of everyone in the house and if he doesn't get his way then we all have to suffer slamming doors shouting n screaming blaming everyone else for his behaviour he lays on the couch in the mornings won't move even when I remind him of the.time then blames me that he's going to be late for school even if I ignore the tantrums the slamming doors and throwing stuff he doesn't calm down hejust continues until he gets a reaction he never used to be like this which I'm sure there's something wrong with him
Michelle - 13-Jul-17 @ 10:23 AM
My sister is aged 10, she really struggles to cooperate with anything you say any time she is asked to do something either at home or at school, she will become very confrontational and will scream and tantrum. She will blatantly refuse to do anything asked, she will go out of her way to upset others. She has been like this since a young age but it is now getting worse, to the point my mum can't leave the house. She is just so argumentative and is turning into such a horrible child I'm struggling to have a nice relationship with her because it's every 10 minutes, I believe she needs help as it isn't normal tantrums anf playing up.
Keira - 26-Jun-17 @ 9:38 AM
Hi I've got a 7 yr old who is completely out off control at home or when ever we go any where. Good in school very quite doesn't join in. He lashes out at my self his sibling punching kicking screaming throws things at us. He is quite fighting at times. I'm struggling for any one to tell me why this is. Been told he just naughty an need to change my parenting he has learning difficulties an anxiety. I'm struggling to under stand what's happening in his head.
Linzi4 - 8-Jun-17 @ 11:14 PM
I have reluctantly self diagnosed myself with this, at the age of 47, after a childhood filled with prescribed meds from Phenergan at 3 months, to Tryptizol, Largactil and L-Dopa all before I was 5 years old. Another era in childhood medicine, I know, but after suffering with depression throughout my adulthood, I have been researching whether or not those meds could have disrupted something as I was growing up. I then discovered O.D.D and it sums up how I felt as a child, constantly angry, feeling repressed, lonely, belligerent and downright nasty. I wanted the world to hurt with me. I would throw things at the neighbours, bit a child psychologist, lashed out at my brother,causing scarring, hurt myself on occasion just to prove a point and delighted in running away to hurt those who loved me the most. This despite a loving and stable home and a relaxed, laid back, wonderful younger brother. Being able to put a name to what I felt as a child, other than plain old hyperactivity, is a huge relief. I grew up to be a mostly well adjusted, reasonably happy, responsible adult, with a 'normal' adulthood, (although I remain extremely opinionated and argumentative, just in more constructive and definitely less physical ways)so I hope this gives some hope to those with youngsters who have this condition now.
Georgi3 - 21-May-17 @ 9:11 PM
sarahlou - Your Question:
My daughter is 2 year old and wont eat (she would live off yoghurts if allowed as this is the only thing that she will eat). she has major meltdowns to the point where she will bang her head off any surface possible, pull her hair, punch herself or bite herself, no matter how much we try she will not settle on a night usually resulting in not going to sleep while 3-4am.

Our Response:
It might help for you to speak to your health visitor or GP for advice. Sometimes just refusing to offer an alternative and waiting for your child to be hungry enough that they will eat anything can work, but professional advice should really be sought.
KidsBehaviour - 17-May-17 @ 12:37 PM
my daughter is 2 year old and wont eat (she would live off yoghurts if allowed as this is the only thing that she will eat). she has major meltdowns to the point where she will bang her head off any surface possible, pull her hair, punch herself or bite herself, no matter how much we try she will not settle on a night usually resulting in not going to sleep while 3-4am.
sarahlou - 16-May-17 @ 1:44 PM
My grandson is 13 i dont knw what to do he Reuses to go to school Fights with his mum and i Horrible to his young sister If we are walking outside he freeks out if we talk to him incase someone heres tells us to shush and runs away from you Seems to be paranoid Paces up and down when trying to tell you something cant stand still Stress ed out about school most of the time The constant one min ok then the next hes The excersist like you can actualy see his face change he has a vacant look about him then you knw hes going to kick off can be scary at times some times will try to harm him self found him in the wardrobe with something round his neck as if ti hang himself and when he does calm down he cant remember being like this
Libby - 28-Apr-17 @ 8:18 AM
My 2 year old daughter won't eat meals has mood swings crys a lot and sad I don't know what to the best of times the health visitor is a waste of time and when my daughter runs she bangs her head
Lou - 26-Apr-17 @ 11:00 PM
My 8 year old son is very difficult. he is diagnosed with ADHD and certainly displays the symptoms, but he is also very angry and aggressive towards me, his mum. He doesn't hit teachers or friends in anger (has occasionally hit friends in what he thinks is 'fun'). If I have to decline a demand of his, like a demand to buy a toy in a shop, he physically lashes out with kicks to my shins, slaps to my face or spitting in my face. He actively refuses to do what I ask him to, unless the mood takes him to agree. I am on egg shells as he rules the house. He won't do homework, he hits his older brother who is gentle and has mild ASD. He swears then looks in my eyes in a defiant way as if to say 'yes, I swore, and what are you going to do about it?'. He taunts his friends and adults. Once one of these episodes is over, he might break down in convulsive tears saying 'you're supposed to love me'. He has screamed vile things to his friends for no particular reason, like 'I wish you were dead' with the parent standing there. I thought up until now that things would improve and that he was just a kid acting out, and now I realise he is 8 next month and should be behaving better than this. His behaviour has broken our marriage up as there was eternal anger and rage in the house and we, as parents, have differing views on how to deal with outbursts. He deliberately refuses to get dressed for school right up until the time we are supposed to leave - it's like he enjoys causing trauma then he acts like the victim by crying. He's utterly disagreeable and unpleasant. No intervention seems to work. He can be pleasant in school, though distracted and distracting, but not nasty nor swearing. It seems the violence and swearing is all done to me. Is this just part of ADHD or is this more like ODD or ASD?
Little Mix - 24-Mar-17 @ 10:33 PM
My 8 year old son is very difficult. he is diagnosed with ADHD and certainly displays the symptoms, but he is also very angry and aggressive towards me, his mum. He doesn't hit teachers or friends in anger (has occasionally hit friends in what he thinks is 'fun'). If I have to decline a demand of his, like a demand to buy a toy in a shop, he physically lashes out with kicks to my shins, slaps to my face or spitting in my face. He actively refuses to do what I ask him to, unless the mood takes him to agree. I am on egg shells as he rules the house. He won't do homework, he hits his older brother who is gentle and has mild ASD. He swears then looks in my eyes in a defiant way as if to say 'yes, I swore, and what are you going to do about it?'. He taunts his friends and adults. Once one of these episodes is over, he might break down in convulsive tears saying 'you're supposed to love me'. He has screamed vile things to his friends for no particular reason, like 'I wish you were dead' with the parent standing there. I thought up until now that things would improve and that he was just a kid acting out, and now I realise he is 8 next month and should be behaving better than this. His behaviour has broken our marriage up as there was eternal anger and rage in the house and we, as parents, have differing views on how to deal with outbursts. He deliberately refuses to get dressed for school right up until the time we are supposed to leave - it's like he enjoys causing trauma then he acts like the victim by crying. He's utterly disagreeable and unpleasant. No intervention seems to work. He can be pleasant in school, though distracted and distracting, but not nasty nor swearing. It seems the violence and swearing is all done to me. Is this just part of ADHD or is this more like ODD or ASD?
Little Mix - 24-Mar-17 @ 1:00 PM
My 8 year old son is very difficult. he is diagnosed with ADHD and certainly displays the symptoms, but he is also very angry and aggressive towards me, his mum. He doesn't hit teachers or friends in anger (has occasionally hit friends in what he thinks is 'fun'). If I have to decline a demand of his, like a demand to buy a toy in a shop, he physically lashes out with kicks to my shins, slaps to my face or spitting in my face. He actively refuses to do what I ask him to, unless the mood takes him to agree. I am on egg shells as he rules the house. He won't do homework, he hits his older brother who is gentle and has mild ASD. He swears then looks in my eyes in a defiant way as if to say 'yes, I swore, and what are you going to do about it?'. He taunts his friends and adults. Once one of these episodes is over, he might break down in convulsive tears saying 'you're supposed to love me'. He has screamed vile things to his friends for no particular reason, like 'I wish you were dead' with the parent standing there. I thought up until now that things would improve and that he was just a kid acting out, and now I realise he is 8 next month and should be behaving better than this. His behaviour has broken our marriage up as there was eternal anger and rage in the house and we, as parents, have differing views on how to deal with outbursts. He deliberately refuses to get dressed for school right up until the time we are supposed to leave - it's like he enjoys causing trauma then he acts like the victim by crying. He's utterly disagreeable and unpleasant. No intervention seems to work. He can be pleasant in school, though distracted and distracting, but not nasty nor swearing. It seems the violence and swearing is all done to me. Is this just part of ADHD or is this more like ODD or ASD?
Little Mix - 23-Mar-17 @ 1:01 PM
My 8 year old son is very difficult. he is diagnosed with ADHD and certainly displays the symptoms, but he is also very angry and aggressive towards me, his mum. He doesn't hit teachers or friends in anger (has occasionally hit friends in what he thinks is 'fun'). If I have to decline a demand of his, like a demand to buy a toy in a shop, he physically lashes out with kicks to my shins, slaps to my face or spitting in my face. He actively refuses to do what I ask him to, unless the mood takes him to agree. I am on egg shells as he rules the house. He won't do homework, he hits his older brother who is gentle and has mild ASD. He swears then looks in my eyes in a defiant way as if to say 'yes, I swore, and what are you going to do about it?'. He taunts his friends and adults. Once one of these episodes is over, he might break down in convulsive tears saying 'you're supposed to love me'. He has screamed vile things to his friends for no particular reason, like 'I wish you were dead' with the parent standing there. I thought up until now that things would improve and that he was just a kid acting out, and now I realise he is 8 next month and should be behaving better than this. His behaviour has broken our marriage up as there was eternal anger and rage in the house and we, as parents, have differing views on how to deal with outbursts. He deliberately refuses to get dressed for school right up until the time we are supposed to leave - it's like he enjoys causing trauma then he acts like the victim by crying. He's utterly disagreeable and unpleasant. No intervention seems to work. He can be pleasant in school, though distracted and distracting, but not nasty nor swearing. It seems the violence and swearing is all done to me. Is this just part of ADHD or is this more like ODD or ASD?
Little Mix - 19-Mar-17 @ 4:53 PM
My son ain't long turned 8 in August ,I just don't no what to do any more e was kicked out is old school then come to a new school was put on a part timetable now recently as a full day e just as anger outbursts ,something can be so small for him to switch on me when I say no to him e will pick a hard toy up and start waking it off is head wishing is was dead,he's always putting is self in danger e will be crawl to animals likes lighting fires ,e even as tryed to stab me a few times with a knife ,e did go to camhs and they saying its not adhd but as a mother I no there is something wrong as my other children ain't like him ,I'm so depressed all the time I just don't no what is gonna do nxt psychological am going in the school in the nxt month things crossed I love him with all my heart i just don't no what to do anymore I just feel like I failed as a mother es been like it for years and e seems to be getting worst as es getting older I feel trapped and es my own son its like I'm in a big hole in doing a parent course at the min just to try and help me but no one understands my son only family and friends who see him even thing there's something wrong....
hayley0902 - 1-Mar-17 @ 10:51 AM
I have a 6 yr old grandson that lives with his great grandparents and has recently been diagnosed with Adha and ODD, he will be playing and so calm and then next thing we see is him throwing things across the room moving the furniture and just have a terrible mad look on his face,and then he will scream to top of lungs if any other kids are around he will say get them out of hear before i hurt them so we remove rhe kids, the he will starting hitting kicking pinching who ever is near him Dr has said to hold him down wrap in blanket if need to so we hold him down this lasts for 20 to 30 minutes while holding down we watch his face and still a mad look and eyes look like they roll back into his head like he possed by something (hope thats not the case) this happens at least 4 times a week,he also will hold his chest like he is having a heart attack and bow up like laying on back and use his head and feet to arch his back and rolling back and forth holding chest its scary for us to watch. Can anyone give me any in put on this we just want him better
ton ton - 28-Feb-17 @ 4:33 PM
i have a son who's 12 13 in May and I dnt know what to do anymore. he steals money from me and his step dad and sisters. He pinches food and not say he's took it I know it's only good but it's the principle of it all I dnt like liers or thieves. he doesn't listen to what he's been told we've took everything off him and tried to make him realise what he's done is wrong. but he dnt understand he says he's sorry when we have proof it's him etc what is wrong with my son Cuz he keeps doing it. Now he's turning round and telling us and his siblings to go and die What's upsetting
nikki - 23-Feb-17 @ 11:34 AM
My daughter is nearly 5, I have been struggling to cope with her behaviour while my other 3 children are fine and don't act the way she does, she refuses to go to the toilet all through the school time she is wetting herself teachers are refusing to do anything about it so she stays wet all day and even at home is she constantly wetting herself weight on the floor, not changing and even nighttime she still has a nappy and in the morning it is still sopping wet, her behaviour she won't listen she hits her sister all the time she runs off whenever she can she winds her brothers up throws toys even put herself in dangerous situations at home lies about it when given homework she refuses to do it even become violent by hitting myself and my husband I have tried naughty step I refuse to attend parenting classes as my other three children don't behaviour like her we have strict routine due to our son has autism she refuses to eat most of them time as she won't sit still she has constantly got to love about and she barely sleeps she constantly gets up in the night too I'm at my wits end as to what to do as teachers refuse to help, health vistor say this is normal behaviour she will grow out of it I have read the jo frost and self help books please anyone got any advice because me and my husband can't take anymore we don't have any health professions to help
Amy.b - 25-Jan-17 @ 5:39 PM
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