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Grounding Children

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 21 Jan 2021 | comments*Discuss
Grounding grounded grounding Children

Grounding is a discipline technique which many parents use with their school-aged children. Though it has been used widely for decades many parents are still unfamiliar with the details of Grounding. Though Groundings can be modified by parents as needed, some basic information can be given. Below are answers to frequently asked questions regarding Grounding children.

What is Grounding?
Grounding is a technique that parents use to discipline children. Parents Ground children by forbidding them to leave the home for social events for a specified period of time. Some parents also forbid children from engaging in entertaining past-times during this period as well. Other parents prefer to Ground children only from certain activities, for example from watching television, attending a particular birthday party or taking part in a particular group event.

How Long does a Grounding Last?
A Grounding can last as long as a parent likes, however the longer the Grounding lasts the less effective it usually becomes. Children very often become bored during Groundings, and many end up breaking further rules in an attempt to entertain themselves. Long Groundings also impact parents negatively in that many parents prefer not to have a moping child at home at all times. To avoid these outcomes, parents should keep Groundings short and sweet.

What Do Children Do During a Grounding?
When children are confined to the home and are not allowed to socialise they have a lot of free time. To avoid children getting up to no good during a Grounding, parents should consider assigning them certain projects to get through. Cleaning up a room, completing extra revision or babysitting younger siblings are all tasks that can be assigned to a child during a Grounding. Depending on why a child has been Grounded, parents can devise tasks that will teach them a lesson or a sense of responsibility related to these events.

Should Parents Remain at Home during Groundings?
Many parents prefer not to Ground children because they feel that their own lives are impacted by this type of discipline as well. Parents do not necessarily have to remain at home during a child’s Grounding, if they would leave their older children or teenagers at home alone were they not Grounded, though obviously this will depend on how much a parent trusts a child not to misbehave while they are out.

Do Groundings Work with All Children?
Groundings do not work with all children. Children who are not naturally outgoing or who do not particularly enjoy socialising will not necessarily find any further discipline in staying home simply because their parents are now requiring it. Children under about ten years of age often do not gain anything from Groundings.

How Frequently Can Parents Ground Children?
Parents should avoid Grounding children too frequently. If children feel as though they are Grounded for anything and everything, they will be less hesitant to break rules (because they will feel that they would probably be Grounded for something soon anyway!). Instead, parents should reserve Groundings for major misbehaviour.

Grounding children is a method of discipline that many parents embrace. In order to teach children something during their Grounding, parents should be prepared to have tasks for their children to complete which related to the behaviours that led to the Grounding in the first place.

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i've been grounded for ten years because of fortnite
naz - 21-Jan-21 @ 1:35 PM
So im 12 years and the reason im in trouble for is private but long story short, my mom went through my phone when me and my friends were talking about private things. Now I should get punished for it. Ive been on punishment since Nov 9 2020. Its now Janurary. Ive gotten more depressed and suicidal. Ive been trying to get my grades up and do better but i just keep getting worse. I am more and more forgetfull everyday and i make silly mistakes and cause my mom problems. I keep forgetting rules she asks me because i have ADHD. I cant keep my mind on one thing so i end up forgetting. Im in grade 7 and life is stressfull. This whole covid thing doesnt make it better. I hate my life so much and just want to die but it wont help anyone if i do. I want to get my life back but i make so many silly mistakes i will never be able to. My mom is super petty about things and tells all her little friends about how i have bad grades and dont deserve anything. SHe always says i should be a open book towards her but when i do i jsut get in trouble for speaking my mind. My dad is semi- supportive of me but he is in jail. I literally just want to be able to leave earth but it would make my mom sadbut im starting to not care anymore how she feels. i have lost all my privllages. My friends have been off punishment way before me they got back their things in november. They probably hate me now. I wish i could be a better person but it seems impossible. ive been writing horrible things of myself. Can someone please help?
Jizzy - 8-Jan-21 @ 11:22 PM
my parents just grounded me for having snapchat on my phone. they took my phone away and said it is taken away for the rest of my life, or until i move out which is in 6 years. what should i do.
b - 1-Jan-21 @ 2:44 AM
I am a mother of four. Three teenagers and an eight year old. I know from personal experience spankings don't work! It just makes the kids act out more and fear you in a bad way. Grounding does work. But Grounding someone for a year or more that is just ridiculous and over board! And any grandparents that use Grounding someone to prevent them from seeing a relative needs to be smacked up side the head because that is just cruel!
Mom - 27-Dec-20 @ 10:02 PM
My parents grounded me for two months but they can’t see that it’s making me do worse. What should I do
Imded - 7-Dec-20 @ 7:24 AM
It's 'em' again, and I also wanted to add I don't know how to prove I have earned a phone when I don't have a phone to prove I won't text late at night anymore on. I have changed, and I'm not going to be doing that anymore. My parents act like I haven't learned anything whatsoever though. Also, I kinda need a working phone to function for communication. I'm in cheer, and there's a group chat with important info that I never get because I'm not in it. There's also an app for cheer where they post important info which I never get because I can't have it. I tried having one girl just transfer information to me, and it works mostly but I feel bad for burdening her. I have to do everything through my mom which is super embarrassing and annoying. My mom gets mad at me for not being able to do things myself via online stuff, but I literally can't, so I don't understand her reasoning. I just hate being in trouble for something literally everyone does, and I've learned from it, but I'm still punished. I need help on how to get through this.
em - 31-Oct-20 @ 10:32 PM
I was technically grounded for a month, and I'm grounded from my phone for a year, but it's actually longer than that. It's been 3 months without my phone (I got it taken in late July 2020 and it's almost November 2020. I have to wait until I'm 16 to have a phone back, and I turned 15 a month ago. Although I'm technically not grounded anymore, it still feels like it. I don't want to go into detail as to why I'm grounded because it's persona,l but basically my mom went through my phone, and I talked to my friends late at night, and that made her mad. There are some other things (they're not super bad, but I agree I should have been punished), and I would have been fine with being grounded for a month. Not having a phone is really difficult. I have a really small phone that only calls and texts like an emergency phone and it does nothing else but that, and its super hard to use, so I only use it to contact my parents when needed. I feel super immature, but it's embarrassing to not have a 'real' phone at my age when everyone else does. I've also lost friends over this. With this whole covid thing, many of my friends don't go to school and they are doing virtual school. On top of that, I'm constantly being quarantined because someone gets covid or school is going back to online school because of covid. My phone is super hard to text on, so texting my freidns is a chore even though I try to. My friends also use social media to talk rather than texting most of the time. It's very annoying. Also, when I'm in school, people are always on their phones and never want to talk face to face. Usually this wouldn't be a problem, but it's hard when I have to just sit there looking stupid. I'm also not allowed to do anything. I feel left out and isolated from my peers. I'm glad this whole covid mess is happening because I can use it as an excuse for not being able to do much, but it still sucks. My mom said if I don't earn my phone back, it could last until I'm 17. It's going to be so embarrassing. I'm not even allowed to save up to buy a phone. Being grounded for a few months, I can handle, but being grounded for a year is making me depressed. The things I got grounded for are things my friends get away with all the time, yet they're never grounded for it. I agree I should be punished but this is too much. I've tried sucking up to my parents, but nothing is working. I feel like I have the social life of a 10-year-old. My parents don't understand EVERYONE is constantly on their phones now, so it's super hard to talk to people normally in school and social distancing makes it so weird. I've lost a lot of friends which seems silly over a phone, but it's true. I had no communication for a month, and now my only communication is over my MacBook that our school provides for us which makes me feel pathetic. I just cry all the time and I'm depressed over this. Idk how I prove I'm responsible enough for a phone when I don't even have a
em - 31-Oct-20 @ 10:22 PM
Here is my situation. So I didn't go to my online classes because I felt I shouldn't go if I couldn't participate anyways, now let me explain. I had a MAPS test and I didn't have my computer so I was on my phone, when I tried to log in it told me that it wouldn't allow me because of my screen resolution. I knew that I would be testing all day so I told my teacher about my situation and he said that I can take the test another day when I have my laptop. So because of the fact that I knew I wouldn't be getting into the test I didn't go to any classes. Long story-short, my mom found out and now I'm grounded, she took away my phone and is also looking through it. I have no idea how long I am grounded for but she usually tends to ground me for months at a time in which I can only watch TV for limited time, I am not allowed to leave the house unless its for an important event, and I can only have my computer for when I'm in school before she takes it away. Keep in mind that through this, while i did miss a day in school I am completely caught up in my classes with good grades. I do agree I should be punished but this is a little extreme right?
Shawna - 23-Oct-20 @ 10:38 PM
im grounded for asking my mom to stop cleaning my room. i dont like it is a year. i mean i yelled because i was across the house at school, i dont think this is fair.. is it?
the grounded gal - 14-Oct-20 @ 5:32 PM
My great grandparents are still living in the old generation with all the traditional ways. I am so tired of being grounded and I don't even know what I'm grounded for most of the time and when I ask I get told I'm running my mouth. I'm 16 years old and I'm not allowed to go on the front porch without asking for permission. I'm not even allowed to go to my friends houses or go to the movies. I have other grandparents I like to spend time with but she ends up grounded me or coming up with other plans so I don't get to spend time with them and sometimes she will let me go with them and I come home and she will tell me ”I gave you an inch and you took a mile”. I do run my mouth sometimes and complain but it's natural everyone has something to complain about no one is perfect. But the thing is I never try to be disrespectful towards her she's 86 I know she knows right from wrong in certain situations. But I'm at the point where I don't know who's right and who's wrong. Because whatever I say she takes it the wrong way. I'm just confused at this point because I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I try my best to talk to her but she has selective hearing she ignores me when she's mad at me and I don't know how to get her attention I'm just so frustrated. When she's mad she ignores me and when I try talk it out she takes it the wrong way. I just want talk about it without her taking it the wrong way. If your in the same boat as me just remember everyone has a different story and different mindset to a situation always remember you’re not the only one having this problem. I always look at it as if God is testing me to see What my action will be or how I react, God gives his strongest soldiers, a harder battle. Pray to the lord because sometimes it's the only option and he will listen more then anybody else will.
Ac - 4-Sep-20 @ 12:09 AM
I am grounded for thee years any advice on how to get through this please
Rose - 25-Jun-20 @ 10:12 PM
I am grounded right now for three years. I would prefer to be spanked and have punishment done and over with is that crazy.
Rose - 31-May-20 @ 2:09 AM
As of right now I have been grounded for 8 months and I still have more time. Before this I was grounded for a year and a half. I live with my grandma and I. Not aloud to have my phone. I am not even grounded because of something I did. I have to be grounded until my sister straightens up and that's not going to happen because the longest we haven't been.grounded for was only 1 week end. I hate my life!
Mace - 2-Apr-20 @ 7:03 PM
My granddaughter was grounded by her nina and that was her not being able to come to her nanas house. So in other words shes taking me away from her and calling it grounded. So correct me if Im wrong but i dont think shes got the meaning of grounded wrong.
Becky - 23-Feb-20 @ 8:17 PM
So I have grounded my daughter for getting arrested for stealing alcohol from Tesco’s and assaulting 2 officers she’s now begging me to tell her how long she should be grounded for? She grinds me down till I give in she’s done so many bad things lately I don’t no how long to ground her for this time
Tui - 16-Nov-19 @ 10:15 PM
I got grounded for a month all because I got into a fight and I should be back by 8:15 but I have only just got back so my mom grounded me for a month I’m only nine years old I only wanted to stay at my boyfriends bit later I don’t think I should of got grounded for this it’s what all kids do
Lol - 4-Nov-19 @ 10:15 PM
i got grounded for ever and now im not allowed my phone or anything and im meant to be going to a birthday party today and now im not allowed because of my stupid stepdad who grounded me and my horrible mum who decided im grounded for life just because of my "attitude". i hate my life i need advice im only 12 years old my life is a mess
ellie - 3-Nov-19 @ 10:50 AM
Well right now I have been grounded for 7and a half months. I still have more time to serve though. I have to finish the 2019 year being grounded plus I am also grounded for 2020. I also getspanked as well.
Rose Valdez - 17-Aug-19 @ 2:19 PM
My friends bf has got grounded for like 2 months n tbh I reckon it’s not fair cos they not gonna learn so how can we get him ungrounded
Mrstealyogirl - 4-Aug-19 @ 7:43 PM
Well today my girlfriend was over at are house and we have both been grounded a lot before and we wanted to do something fun so this morning my sister was still sleeping so we woke her up and she was really mad at us so she told on us so are mom is very strict so she said that was not nice and me and my girlfriend got grounded for 8 months and my sister got grounded for 3 months so she got grounded to it stinked and when we get grounded we have to stay in are rooms the entire time were being grounded
Nate - 5-Jan-19 @ 3:25 AM
So well today me and my sister teased a kid and we both got a detention but when got home are mom gave us both a spanking and we both got grounded for 8 months
Nate - 30-Sep-18 @ 8:28 PM
Yesterday I just got grounded by my mom for 9 months in my room for punching two girls in the arm at school is this fair I don't deserve punishment
Nate - 31-Aug-18 @ 11:29 PM
I know how you feel we both know what it is like to get grounded for a long and time and all the time I always am getting grounded and it really stinks so I know how you feel
Nate - 19-Aug-18 @ 3:48 PM
I'm grounded at the moment. I was told to get off my ipad at ten but I got caught on it at 3 in the morning. The only reason why I did it is because I'm sick to death of all my friends getting privliges and I'm the only one in year 8 who gets grounded for 3 weeks for staying up 1 min later on the Xbox than usual. All my other friends get to stay up on whatever that want for however long they want. It's pissing me off. Mum says that she's trying to discipline me by stopping me from having the only fun I ever get like ever. What piss3d me off ever more is my friend said "Why not just play something on your ipad instead of just watching tv?" Which lead me to find out EVEN IF my friends got grounded they're still allowed to play handheld devices. I just want my parents to think like everyone else's parents. My parents think that if I spend over 4 hours on my Xbox a day then I'm gonna get completely fat. Even though I play weekend sports. That piss3d me off because 4 years before she said that I was allowed to play my ps3 whenever I wanted and I didn't get any fatter. Now as soon as I got the Xbox and the wifi I'm restricted to doing basically nothing enjoyable because they think I'll get fat all of a sudden. I know this is long and I know I'm doing this whilst grounded but I just needed to get it out. Thanks for reading - A 13 yr old Aussie gamer
Wolfy - 19-Aug-18 @ 5:28 AM
If your wondering why we get grounded all the time it is not just like me and my three sisters and I have a least 20 friends at my school who have all been grounded and that's not all the only reason we get grounded so much is because grounding is very common in are family all of my step brothers and sisters my cousins we've all been grounded multipe times like one time me my three sisters and 4 of are cousins went to a bar and are parents grounded us all for 6 months in are room I hate being grounded with my sisters but it feels better when I get grounded with my cousins
Nate - 9-Aug-18 @ 11:22 PM
I got grounded once for eating my sisters Christmas candy even though it was just sitting in her room and so my mom grounded me for 4 months in my room for eating my sisters Christmas candy
Nate - 6-Aug-18 @ 6:08 PM
I could try but it seems like if I do just a little mistake my parents will ground me long like if I once played call of duty and my parents said were not allowed to play that game so they grounded me for 4 months that was last year like I said last comment I'm grounded for 3 months for misbehaving at camp and same with my all it seems like anymore is my parents want to punish me for the most stupidest things like one time me and my one sister went go carting and we keeped bumping and punishing and yelling at each other and then are mom grounded us for 6 months in are room it's not fair
Nate - 25-Jul-18 @ 12:17 AM
Nate - Your Question:
Hello it's Nate again and I just got ungrounded before camp and then I went to camp I come back and my mom found out I got in two fights teased lots of people lied to people and lots of other things so when my mom found out so for my punishment she grounded me for 3 months I'm my room and so from July 21 to October 21 and I'm just sitting in my room right now and when my sister came back she did pretty much the same thing I did and my mom decided for her punishment she also grounded her for 3 months to her room from July 21 to October 21 and right now she's just sitting in her room were so bored

Our Response:
Hi again Nate. Grounding clearly doesn't work for you as you continue to misbehave. Your parents could maybe look at other more constructive forms "punishment". Have you tried behaving like an "angel" when sent to camp etc? You might surprise yourself and your parents.
KidsBehaviour - 24-Jul-18 @ 10:25 AM
Hello it's Nate again and I just got ungrounded before camp and then I went to camp I come back and my mom found out I got in two fights teased lots of people lied to people and lots of other things so when my mom found out so for my punishment she grounded me for 3 months I'm my room and so from July 21 to October 21 and I'm just sitting in my room right now and when my sister came back she did pretty much the same thing I did and my mom decided for her punishment she also grounded her for 3 months to her room from July 21 to October 21 and right now she's just sitting in her room were so bored
Nate - 23-Jul-18 @ 2:19 AM
If you guys didn't know I hated my teenager years because I problay spent 75 percent of them grounded in my room all of my friends have been grounded and my three sisters one time got in trouble I thought it was funny but I got in trouble but what I did was I broke my oldest sister Emily's favorite statue that was made of glass and she why would you break that and I said it was fun and she said I'm telling mom and I pulled her arm and said please no and she punched me in the face and then we both told on each other and I said she punched me in the face and Emily said he broke my favorite statue and laughed and are mom said well you guys need a punishment as I can see and I was was grounded for 7 months in my room with no friends no tv no phone only can come out for bathroom and school and I will eat meals in my room and Emily's punishment was she's grounded for 2 months in her room no tv no phone no friends and only can come out for bathroom and school and she will be eating meals in her room too and when we went to are rooms we both started crying we felt sorry for each other
Nate - 2-Jul-18 @ 7:45 PM
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